Excerpt from Elfric
"Tell me, does King Joseph allow for bathroom breaks, or do you shite in your chrome britches?"
"You will not speak of excrement and King Joseph in the same breath again peasant man."
"I'm simply curious," Elfric began and stepped back two paces, "Are there hinged flaps on the backside of your trousers?"
A metallic note played when the knightsmen of the High Castle Guard removed the swords from their sheaths. For a moment Elfric thought that their arms wouldn't be long enough to pull the enormous blades completely from the sheaths. He caught a glimpse of himself within the reflection of one of their swords as it was drawn, his small stature appearing quite smaller inside the deadly mirror. Then he was blinded by the high afternoon sun that caught the other man's blade. Squinting, he saw that the knightsmen now stood in their fighting stances.
"My apologies gentlemen," Elfric said and bowed his head, "The king's grand castle is a most overwhelming sight, and it caused me to lose my senses for a brief moment. Now that I am gathered, I shall proceed to my royal appointment in King Joseph's court."
— Excerpt from the short story Elfric, now available at the Amazon bookstore.